Here’s a repost of an article I wrote for Africans.co.za in 2004, seeing as we’re close to that time of year when we get to choose the ones who will lead us… enjoy:
It’s that time of year again, when we get to vote for the people who’ll be in the news for the next four years. Whether it’s dodgy deals, or sex scandals, be assured of something or someone crawling out into the open and making life in this country very interesting.
So what is it exactly, that makes us vote for the scumbags? Is it the promise of a “better life for all” or the fact that one poster looks better than another? Do the pompous poses on pole posters entice us with that fuzzy warm feeling that talks to our inner beast, or is everyone simply trying to “out-schmuck” each other? I think it’s apparent that we have some fucking ugly politicians in this country! Where’d all the goodlooking people go? Surely these people have advisors telling them what’s a great idea and what’s not, surely someone must have suggested that portraits on campaign posters aren’t a good idea! Unless of course these are the same people who don’t take any advice apart from their own, they surely look like the type, don’t they?
But lets just say, in a normal South African world, this is the kind of thing that appeals to the older generation. The kind of thing that gets 70 year old ladies sweaty in their draws and gagging to cast a vote for the kind gent in the grey suit with the goofy smile and really smart slogan in the hope that someday, while attending a rally of sorts, they’ll be whisked away, “backstage”, and be personally thanked, in kind for that matter, by the man himself, for voting for his party! Well, that’s a long fucking queue if you ask me.
You hear that so often nowadays, “the younger generation are the future”. Well it’s quite apparent, Mr. Politician, that you don’t give a fuck about yours! Someone has forgotten to appeal to the people who’d rather sit at home and wank on voting day, than spend their free day voting! Marketing anyone?
Considering the fact that potentially a youth vote could mean the difference between winning and losing: Get out there, do some crazy shit, bungee jump naked! Make a statement goddamit!
Personally I’d sooner vote for the sod willing to take a chance in getting me interested in his or her campaign by putting their own life at risk than the sod trying to tell me “the other guys are the crooked ones”. I say, “Are you a politician? Yeah? Well then you’re in no fucking position to make that judgement!” Come on, spend a day in the dodgiest neighbourhood, smoke a doobie with the locals. That’s the kind of interaction I want to see. That’s the kind of dedication to “the cause” I want to see!
And what if he gets robbed, mugged or gang-raped by a group of sweaty 80 year old grannies? At least he can’t be blamed for not being a part of the cultural heritage of the area. Take a fucking chance, will you?
Instead we’re given these nance-boy white-collar motherfuckers who can bearly string a sentence together, who have an inclination towards grey suits and crap ties or khaki shoes and whose idea of taking a chance is driving 70km/h in a 60 zone in a German luxury vehicle with airbags! These people have no idea what I do, no idea who I am.
The the least they could do is go the extra mile for my entertainment. The least they could do is something outside of their comfort zones. Entice me. The youth vote is all about getting me out of the house on voting day, making me enjoy leaving my bed.
I’m sure there’s a sector of the public that’d be keen on a free beer or two.
